Story Pitch- Mazwi
4 responses to “Story Pitch- Mazwi”
Xan van Rooyen
Love this idea and the concept of hearing the voice of God, or a god.
Great idea Masimba – there is really a lot of cool stuff to play with here and I like this angle of someone having a personal crisis on a pilgrimage.
1. Consider revising your character name a bit as per the language guide in the Story Bible sent by email. Also note the updated names for “Pina” and “Orin” – Pinaa and Orino-rin.
2. Not sure if your main character can be from Pinaa (please review the ‘history’ in the story Bible.) since Pinaa isnt inhabited till later and even then, its run by an AI system. You mention its the “contact with the rest of the system” that triggers his need to go seek out wisdom, so this probably has to be set in the past. Perhaps if you set it in the past, around 10000 B1B, when the other planets are re-establishing contact with each other, then he can be from Mahwe or any of the other planets. If its in the present, as per the timeline, then perhaps he can be from Ekwukwe or Wiimb-o. 3.
3. Related to point 2 above. If its contact with the other planets that triggers his crisis, how does he know of the caves on Orino-rin? Is it something he learns about during the contact?
Awesome idea – love it!
Ps. I think the hollow, or cave planet is Ekwukwe. I believe Orin is a gas giant(?) and may have caves too, but is perhaps better renowned for tempestuous weather, sonic storms and sonic deserts – that sort of thing…
Greetings, people. I must apologise for going AWOL, but the socio-economic reality of a writer with a wife and child can have their moment of dominance, especially over the holiday period. I want to thank Xan, Jude and Wole for commenting. The story has written itself, bringing out some of the other themes I have been obsessed with of late (;what does it mean to be “human” in the light of what we know of archaic hominids, and our projections for human evolution on other planets; neurodiversity; religion to explain and interpret different worlds).
Mugoni is a trader and traveller, which is how he has heard of the caves of Ekwukwe, having transported pilgrims and heard their stories. Most of them have found the pilgrimage disappointing.
By the way, Kutapa mazwi is the ChiShona expression for recording (a recording device would be called chitapamazwi), but the literal meaning is “to capture/seize hold of words.” I cannot imagine a more accurate phrase to describe what Mugoni seeks to achieve.
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