Fabrice Guerrier wrote a new post
I rolled over; my throat burned with the sting of vomit.
I said out loud throwing up in a small bucket next to my couch. I put my hand on my forehead.
You are a truly captivating writer!
Suggestion would be when you have dialogue include the “I said”/ “she replied”, ect directly after the quotation instead of on a separate line. It would make it flow smoother I think. And one minor typo: “you’re welcome” instead of “your welcome.”
Keep up the good work!
Daniel’s arm felt numb as he woke up. He sat up, feeling the stiffness in his back and arms as he stretched. He must have dozed off at some point and fallen asleep on his arm, cutting off the…
Absolutely beautiful!!! I cannot explain how PHENOMINAL this is!! Great work.
I sat outside on my front porch waiting, for what? I still don’t know. Something tells me I never will. I recall that the world felt both warm, yet malevolent as the sky turned a blood red, and the…
Hi Dominick! What an engaging and frightening story! I especially liked your way with words in the opening paragraph.
One minor spelling error is ‘seemed’ instead of ‘seamed’. I’d also read your story out loud and make a few sentence structure changes so it flows even better. One example is the end of paragraph 4. Here’s one suggestion on how you could rephrase it: “It seemed to have the figure of a woman. Its clothes and skin were as pale as a ghost and it seemed to glide through the air; hiding just out of view.”
Great job and I look forward to more!
David Russell and Roel Escamilla are now friends
David Russell and Steven Cousler are now friends